Update

I thought I was due for an update on me and the baby since all I could post before was the adorable pictures of Katelyn and Haley at the lake. For those who asked, that is Jeff's sisters little girl, Katelyn's cousin and they are 8 weeks apart - we love having them so close in age!

I have been feeling pretty good but I did have a "freak out" moment this past week. Sunday I started having some back cramps, at first I was just ignoring it but then it started freaking me out. I was able to lay down and rest and it all went away. Monday I felt pretty good but the cramping came back Monday night and Tuesday I decided I was just going to call the doctor and see if I should get it checked out. I knew it wasn't contractions, it didn't feel that way to me but if felt like major aunt flow cramps in my back. Dr. K decided I should come right in for evaluation so I headed down to the Northside office. Within 5 minutes they had me on the contraction monitor and I have never been so happy to see a completely FLAT line, I never saw that with the triplets! They ran some blood and urine tests to make sure there was no infection from the cerclage and everything came back great. Then Dr. K met with me and they checked my cervix over and over again...it measured 3.9 and he said there was no funneling or softening of the cervix at all. I felt kind of silly for coming in but Dr. K was amazing and reassured me that I did the right thing. He said from now till 23 weeks everything is going to freak me out...and it is. He let me go home and said to come back today to recheck everything. After Tuesday I got so overwhelmed with my fear and anxiety, I haven't slept through the night all week. I suddenly thought maybe I should stop believing everything was going to be OK and just prepare myself for another loss - irrational, I know but when you have experienced what Jeff and I lived through it is hard to remain positive. I felt an overwhelming fear that things were going to be bad at my appointment today but everything looked great so now I feel OK again. Today my cervix measured 4.1 twice and the baby looked perfect. The ultra sound took forever as the baby was moving so much the tech could not get the chambers of the heart measured and she had me rolling all over the table trying to get the right position...everything was fine and the baby measured right where I am and at 7oz. For those of you who have asked and don't know, Jeff and I have decided not to find out the sex of the baby...for those of you who know me...this is amazing. I am a complete planner and like everything in complete order. BUT...in light of what happened last time, I want nothing done till I know this baby is coming home with us. I don't want the nursery set up, I don't want to buy things, I don't want anything that I will have to possibly take back to the store. I don't have a strong feeling either way what I think the baby is going to be...logic tells me it is probably a girl since we have technically had 4 girls...but maybe there is a boy in there after all. Anyways, today the tech doing my ultra sound says "do you want to know what it is?" I said "no". A few minutes pass and I look at her and ask "Do you know what it is?" and she gets this big smile on her face and I think to myself "oh my gosh she knows and I don't, all I have to do it ask"...but I don't. I search and search but I couldn't tell, one shot I thought for sure it was a girl and the next I thought for sure there was something down there...the baby wasn't spread eagle so it wasn't a clear shot for me and I have only seen girls so I didn't really know what to look for. Then Dr. K walks in and he says "AH do you know what the baby is" I said "NO I don't want to know, I am not ready" and he laughs and says "Ok but I know" with a big smile on his face...it was complete torture. The thing is emotionally I am not ready to know what the baby is. I have the names picked out but something about knowing makes it all too real to me and I am not ready. I am definitely waiting till the baby is born, Jeff and i need that surprise...everything has been way too medical for us, we need the old fashion way of finding out. Anyways, all day I have been sitting here trying to guess...but I just don't have a clue.

So all in all everything is going really well. It is all week by week now as I am entering my "scary" time. It sounds like I can go to the beach with my family a week from Saturday if nothing changes. I see Dr. G Thursday to make a final decision. My bed rest is still up in the air, Dr. K said as of today there is no reason to put me in bed - how awesome is that!! He did say if I think I start contracting we can set up the home monitor system where I can monitor my contractions from home and a nurse will call me and tell me if I have to come in or if I am OK...that would be great, serious peace of mind. Maybe I won't even contract!

This week-end we are celebrating Katelyn's 2nd birthday (it is next Saturday the 19th, but hopefully we will be on the way to the beach). I am looking forward to a small celebration with our family. I decided next year I will have a huge bash for Katelyn since I finally won't be pregnant and "taking it easy".

That's all for my update!