Monday, March 16, 2009

I think I write on my blog in my head a few times a week but finding the time to actually sit down and write right now has been tough. Things are going really well here! I am feeling completely adjusted to life with two kids. We are finally getting sleep at night as Blake is now sleeping 8-10 hour stretches, thank goodness! Blake is an amazing baby, he just hangs out and goes with the flow - polar opposite of my sweet Katelyn! Jeff and I just keep asking each other if this is for real, we were so prepared to have another tough baby experience! Katelyn is doing great too, she loves helping me with Blake and seems to be handling sharing her mommy pretty well. Besides being busy with the kids, Jeff and I are both playing tennis again and are trying to get back into the groove of life with no school (for Jeff) and bed rest (for me). Two years of pregnancy for me took it's toll on things/activities we like to do. Life is starting to feel so normal and so much more calm. I have found such an incredible sense of peace that I have spent almost five years looking for, I spent every breath, every moment of the past five years wondering, worrying, hurting over the desire to carry a baby, have a baby, finish a pregnancy, give Kate a sibling, etc. Now that it is all done and we have these two beautiful blessings it feels somewhat like God has lifted the weight of the world off my shoulders! The other day Jeff and I were out walking with both the kids in the stroller, it reminded me of something someone once told me...I thought about one of the best lessons I have learned over the years. I thought if someone looked at me right at that moment and they were trying to have a baby, recovering from a recent loss, going through treatments, etc. they would look at the four of us and think we had it so perfect and that person may even resent us - you just NEVER know what someone has been through to get to where they are at that moment - that I will never forget! I have this huge passion and heart for helping people who are going through what we have been through, I suppose I could take my pick and help those facing surrogacy, infertility or pregnancy loss. I haven't really figured out how to get to where I want to be with helping others but I am going to figure something out...please pray for that or let me know any suggestions that you have for me. I would love to be a counselor for those going through this but I guess I need to see what schooling/licensing that I would need for that. I feel like I don't need anything because no license or degree can teach you what I have learned living through it all. I will get there eventually. I just always think of the things I wish someone had told me when I started this journey, the things I wish I had known from the start, the support that I wish I would have found from someone who had been there, I wish that people in my life would have had someone to talk to about what we were going through...there are so many things I wish I had had so I know there is so much I can offer to others. Overall I wish I had known that life would be OK again, that my heart would be content again, that I would feel the complete happiness that disappeared the day I learned I couldn't get pregnant on my own again. I wish I had known how amazing the other side would be no matter what paths we had to take to get here - I wish I had known how worth it it would all be when the battle was over with. Nobody can really tell you that till you live through it and get to the other side...but it would have been nice to hear it from someone who had actually been through it all. Anyways, enough of my rambles, all of that has been weighing so heavily on my heart lately that I know I need to find a way to support others and I will.

I am looking forward to the sun coming back out tomorrow, it has been a rainy week-end here and we are in need of some sunshine! I have so many new pictures to post so I will get them on here as soon as I can! Nap time is coming to an end around here so I have to run!


Jennifer said...

I am so glad things are going well for you guys. You have been through so much in the past 5 years, you now deserve to sit back and enjoy what God has blessed you with without the worries :)

I think it is great that you want to help others. Having someone to talk to or just listen to is so comforting when you are being faced with challenges of starting/expanding your family. I think God will lead you to the right place. For now, you are doing an amazing job!

Thanks for always listening to me!

Ashly said...

Hey Katie,

Thanks for this post, it was refreshing! I'm so happy life is treating you so well.

Nana said...

Katie, I would think that you could be of help to people you mentioned through your church. The church is usually the first place someone looks for guidance and/or help. You would not need a degree to help someone through your church. The first step would to be to share with your Pastor what you feel God has called you to do. Then he would guide you through the proper channels to connect with these people in need.
Good luck. If anyone has a story to share - you do.