Saturday, April 25, 2009

Today...

Today was amazing for me, for my entire family! I have spent months waiting for today...when you lose a child or children, you long for any way for them to still feel a part of your family, of your life, of your memories, you want to have them there for every single moment and they can't be there. You worry that people will forget, you worry that people don't know there is something missing from your family picture, you even worry sometimes that you will forget the moments, however brief that you had with your babies. I knew, from the moment I woke up this morning to the moment I had to get in my car and leave Centennial Park that I was doing something to completely honor my girls, to completely put everything else aside and focus on their three tiny souls that have left such an amazing impact in our lives. I wanted to to shout at the top of my lungs to my girls, I wanted them to be there riding in the stroller, jumping with Kate, loving on Blake and it was the closest I have been able to feel to them in many weeks...actually months. At one moment today, I was walking behind Jeff who was pushing the double jogger and I saw Kate holding Blake's little hand, it took my breath away, I thought if only all my children could have moments like this together! I am so blessed by the sweetness of my babies but there are three missing and I will never be the same without them. I am so thankful for moments like today, when my family and friends could all be together and it be about my girls, I don't get to have everyone gather to celebrate their birthdays or any other milestones but I will get this one day where we can all gather and support not only support the March of Dimes but the memory of our girls, let them be on our hearts and minds for a few solid hours - it was amazing for me! I needed it so much this morning and I am SO incredibly thankful not only to everyone who donated money to our walk but also to everyone who came to walk with us, the love and support overwhelmed my heart and it was a beautiful morning. I felt such a peace when I woke up this morning. We stopped on the way to get balloons for the girls and while I was sitting in the car with the kids and Jeff was in getting the balloons, I was telling Kate what we were doing and she said "I am going to send my sissy's their balloons to my heaven mommy". I told her we were also getting a blue balloon for our dear friends Ashly and Denny's baby Brooks who is in heaven with our sissys and she said "mommy is he in my heaven too?" When we later let Kate send the balloons to her sissy's I told her to send them a kiss and she blue a kiss straight up to the sky, it took my breath away! Ashly and Denny released their balloon at the same time and all four balloons went straight up together, not one separated from each other before we lost sight of them, I like to think the babies were all together and caught them to play with for the day!


The crew that walked with us, we decided to sport our UGA attire since I didn't get shirts for our group!
Kate and Blake a little tired from our early morning arrival!

Kate loving all the fun activities!


It was an amazing day and the kids did awesome! I already can't wait till next year's walk!

5 comments:

Jennifer said...

Katie, what an amazing thing you did today for your 3 little angels in heaven! I can just see them playing with thier balloons and being so proud of thier family :) I know this was such a special day for you and Jeff...

Kelly and Brent said...

Katie, your post made me cry (but good tears). What a special day it was and I am so happy you had so many supporters with you. Please know we were thinking about you and your three little angels. They are so proud of their mommy, daddy, brother and sister! I know they are having a grand time with their balloons. I am so happy March of Dimes was such a success and that you have a special day that you can honor the girls. :)

Donnetta said...

Katie, your sweet baby girls are looking down and smiling at their Mommy, Daddy, sister and brother.

I know it. :)

KatePetronis said...

Oh my gosh I have tears in my eyes!! What a sweet post.

Allison said...

What a wonderful way to honor them! They must be so proud of all of you.