Monday, June 2, 2008

My thoughts for today...

We had another relaxing week-end around here, we spent most of Saturday and Sunday at the pool and Kate is getting more comfortable in the water each day. It was nice to have nothing planned and just do our own thing all week-end. I think my cold is finally going away, Katelyn has had it too but it really hasn't slowed her down at all, thank goodness.

I am feeling really good and glad to be getting to the end of my first trimester. I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed the past few days and I believe it is because I know the second trimester is arriving and with it brings a lot of obstacles and an overwhelming fear for me. I really do pretty well most of the time but this week-end I was overwhelmed with how scared I really am about this pregnancy. I keep telling people I am not going to find out what the baby is, I am not going to buy anything, I am staying somewhat removed till I know I will be bringing the baby home...but who am I kidding, I am absolutely in love and attached to the baby and I can't stop it from growing every moment. I am anxious to feel the baby moving this trimester but I am scared of it as well. I will never as long as I live forget the day I was in labor with the girls and Jeff and I felt them kicking all morning, we just cried knowing we were about to deliver them into a world where they wouldn't survive...for weeks I thought I was feeling the girls move in my stomach and I had to remind myself it wasn't the babies. I think it will be bittersweet to feel the baby move, it will remind me of the girlies in an incredible way. Someone told me a few weeks ago to make sure that I don't let my fear get in the way with my love and my bonding with this baby and I am really focusing on that, I do journal to the baby every night, just as I have to Katelyn since the day I found out Tammie was pregnant. Jeff and I talk about names and talk about the baby, we are trying in spite of our fear to treasure each day so that we know we enjoyed every moment with this baby - no matter what the time we are given with him/her in our lives. Anyways, sorry to ramble here, just some thoughts I was having this week-end. I did have an appointment with Dr. Grogan today and everything went really well. We did an ultra sound and FINALLY it could be on my stomach and not the other kind:), the baby was moving all over the place and looked perfect! There was a nice strong heart beat and good fluid. Dr. G didn't check my cervix so Dr. K will do that next week on Wednesday. I definitely confirmed both Dr. K and Dr. G will be in the surgery together so that will be nice to have them both there for the procedure. All in all it was another good appointment, another good week...that is all we can ask for. Dr. G did tell me I should really look into buying some maternity shorts as she pulled my shirt up to do the ultra sound and my pants were being held together by a rubber band:), oh the things we do to feel like we are still wearing our normal clothes...mind you these shorts were two sizes bigger than what I normally wear, she made me feel better by blaming it on all the hormones I have been on...I will proudly say I didn't gain any weight from my appointment a week and a half ago - thank God.
That's all, I am off to bed, have a great week everyone!

3 comments:

Tim said...

Glad to hear that everything is going well. I had a scare with my first and second. I remember with the first -- I had a close friend who had previously miscarriaged and was pregnant again (we were due on the same day). She was so nice to me -- she would send me the sweetest notes of encouragement and always included "Cherish everyday you carry your precious miracle." She didn't want me stressing about the future and what could possibly come or go wrong -- she just wanted me to savour and be thankful for every second. I really took that to heart, and think about it often when I watch my wild little 2 and half year old little man! Luckily both our boys arrived safely and were born 3 weeks apart. They are best friends to this day. We said many prayers that they both would arrive healthy as we were quite worried one or both of us would experience a loss and the other would serve as a constant reminder. God is good, and it is important to remember that he won't give us more than we can handle.
Amanda
www.all-about-d.blogspot.com

Matt&Erin said...

Being optimistic and treasuring this time is the best thing you can do... I truly believe that babies feel the emotions of their mommies. I can't wait for all the WONDERFUL milestones you are going to experience in this next trimester! :) ERIN

Chris said...

I'm so glad you are doing so well and YAY on your approach into the second trimester! I know your surgery is coming up soon. All the best to you. You will be so relieved once it's over!