Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

Happy new Year to all my blogger friends! Yesterday was such a great day spent with family...we even made it till midnight to toast in the new year. I have been a little sad this week, missing my girls more than I can put into words - something about the passing into another year makes my heart long for my girls in a way that I can't figure out how to put into words. I reflect back on the passing year and think of what an amazing year we have had BUT still there is this HUGE hole that can't be filled back up - I am starting to believe that nothing will ever be able to fill it back up. Believe me, my heart is filled with an overwhelming love and gratefulness for my two living children - words can't express how incredibly thankful and blessed I feel and I never want anyone to mistake the pain of losing my girls for an ungrateful heart. I thank God daily for the children I have but I still ask him daily "why" - which I know is a question too large for me to ask, understand or accept...still the first thing I do when I wake everyday is think of their faces, long for them and ask why. With each passing year I fear that more people have forgotten my girlies, their memories, their incredible souls that filled Jeff and my hearts in a short few hours the way my other two children have filled my heart in the past one and three years. I still sometimes stop and wonder how I have survived this horrific nightmare of losing my children - then I remember God is SO amazing, He has carried me when I couldn't walk and I know He is my savior - for that is HOW I have survived!

Sorry for the deep thoughts, I needed to reflect on my girls today - to honor them with this passing year and to pray that as I always do that each year my heart will continue to heal!

Happy New Year! 2010 is going to be an amazing year and I can't even wait for each day that I am about to get to live with my best friend and two amazing babies!

Much love and prayers for an incredible 2010!


Jennifer said...

Happy New Year Katie! Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed for honoring and thinking about your 3 little girls in heaven. No one can understand what you and Jeff have been through. I am sure I would be the same way, it is hard not to imagine them not here and to wonder what they look like and what they are doing.

I think it is great that you honor them today and always! Wishing you and Jeff, Kate, and Blake the most wonderful new year!!!!

Nana said...

Katie, let me share something with you.
All my life when I would see anything that had "3 girls" on it, if it was a picture, a Christmas ornament, anything with "3 girls" I always thought of me and my two sisters. But 4 years ago I lost one of my sisters and then when I would see a symbol with the "3 girls" it never was the same. NOW, everytime I see the symbol of "3 Girls", I think of your "girlies".
So you see, they will never be forgotten by so many people. They were here a very short time, but, touched so many hearts.
Happy New Year.

MattandErin said...

Happy New Year! We sure missed you guys at the lake. Blake and Kate would have had such a blast! Mark it on your calendar for next year!

I think of your girls often - I will NEVER forget them. I think its awesome that you still do so many thing (though out the year!) to honor them!